The March/April
2005 issue of Adoptive Families magazine
reviewed Debbie
Riley’s
book, Underneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens. Following
is the review by Susan
Freivalds, editorial advisor to Adoptive Families magazine.
Dear Mom and Dad, care to know what’s going on in your adopted
teen’s head? Think identifying some strategies to deal with all
those feelings might restore some peace at home? Wonder if therapy might
be helpful as your son navigates the rocky shoals to adulthood?
Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens offers all this
and more. The Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.), in
Silver Spring, Maryland, is one of the few centers that exist exclusively
to provide clinical, supportive, and educational services to adoptive
families and their children. Riley has worked with adolescents for over
25 years, the last 13 exclusively with adopted kids at C.A.S.E.
Originally conceived and written as a guide for therapists working with
adopted adolescents, Beneath the Mask is also an extremely valuable
resource for parents. An adoptive mother herself, Riley clearly respects
the motives, skills, and goals of adoptive parents of teens. She recognizes
that adolescence is not easy for parents, as well as that it’s
a trying time for teens themselves. But she is confident that parents
are part of the solution.
Riley’s thesis is that adopted teenagers have unique hurdles to
accomplishing identify formation, the primary task of adolescence. It’s
only common sense: If teens approach identify formation by comparing
themselves (in terms of value systems as well as physical appearance)
to their parents, it’s bound to be more complex when there are
two sets of parents, one set of which is often unknown, and perhaps unknowable.
Riley identifies six common “stuck spot” issues for adopted
teens as they progress through the developmental tasks of adolescence.
Not all teens struggle with every issue, and those who do will move into
and out of them, at varying levels of intensity. Riley insists, however,
that such issues are normal for adopted teens and do not represent psychopathology.
But therapists and families must be aware of these issues in order to
treat and to parent adopted teens successfully.
Although written to educate counseling professionals, the book is not
filled with jargon. Extensive case studies illuminate strategies parents
can use with their own teens. In the case studies, we hear the voices
of the adopted teens themselves. Here’s what they are thinking,
what they’re telling (and not telling) their parents, and why.
Guidelines for therapists, which can be adapted by parents, are provided
throughout.
Beneath the Mask has important information for all adoptive parents
of teens. If your teen is struggling (or if you are), this book is critical
to help you determine whether therapy might be helpful, how it works
with adopted teens, and what can be accomplished. If your teen is already
in therapy, make sure the counselor is familiar with this book, even
if you have to give her a copy yourself.
Reviewed by Susan Freivalds, editorial advisor to Adoptive Families magazine. http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1102.
The newly published book, Beneath the Mask, Understanding Adopted Teens,
is a wonderful resource for parents of teenagers, as well as parents
who are still years away from dealing with teen issues. The author, Debbie
Riley, is a counselor and Executive Director of the Center for Adoption
Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) Ms Riley uses her years of experience
with counseling adopted children to distill the issues that are common
to children in the teen years as they deal with being adopted, difficult
birth family histories and the typical balance of adolescence of wanting
to separate from their parents yet still have security and dependence.
In the preface, Riley cites the statistic that adopted teenagers are
more likely to be receiving mental health services than their non adopted
peers. Two percent of the general population is adopted, yet 5 to 17
percent of adolescents in therapy are adopted. There are many theories
about why this is true, but one of them may be that adoptive parents
may be likely to seek assistance, due to higher economic status, and
having been educated through the home study process. Riley’s theme
throughout the book is to seek a therapist who has training and experience
in dealing specifically with adoption issues.
Two chapters that are of specific interest are the pages that deal with “Adolescent
Stuck Spots” and “Parental Stuck Spots.” The teen may
not have the tools to deal with why they were placed for adoption, missing
or difficult birth history, transracial differences, feeling different
because they are adopted, and feeling truly permanent in their adoptive
family. The parents are dealing with these issues from the adult perspective,
often wondering how much information to share, and when to share it.
This book is written for both mental health professionals and parents.
The language used is very accessible, even for someone with no knowledge
of the terminology used in the therapeutic setting. To illustrate the
topics, Riley uses case studies of teens in therapy to explain the concepts
discussed.
As the parent of children still a few years away from the teen years,
I found this book to be a helpful model of what to expect, and gave me
some issues to think about how to prepare for the questions that our
children will be asking.
For parents of teens that may be experiencing difficulties, this book
offers hope and concrete therapy strategies to guide a teen and their
parent(s) through treatment and healing.
Eileen Delaney, adoptive parent, volunteer for national parent organization
Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption, on Board of local chapter
“I’ve been increasingly impressed by Debbie Riley’s
efforts on behalf of children and families over the years; now – with
the publication of “Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens” – my
respect for her work grows yet again. This is an important,
even essential, book for professionals and parents alike. It will help
moms and dads deal better with some of the most turbulent years in their
sons and daughters lives, and it will provide professionals with invaluable
insights that will educate them and, quite simply, enable them to do
their jobs more effectively.”
Adam Pertman, Executive Director, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption
Institute, Author: "Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming
America” commentaries have appeared on in media nationwide, and
he has been a guest on programs including “Oprah,” the Today
Show, and “Nightline.” Father of two by adoption.
The title Beneath the Mask itself is a powerful therapeutic intervention
for all those involved in the adoption network. The authors take us beneath
the mask with insightful and practical suggestions that help make sense
of adoption related dynamics and development. This book takes us all
a big step forward in working with people involved in a socials institution
often lacking in understanding, sanction and support.
Elinor Rosenberg, M.S.W., clinical assistant professor
in psychiatry, clinical social worker, University Center for Child and
Family, University of Michigan, author of “The Adoption Life Cycle”
This book is an invaluable contribution to our understanding of the
developmental challenges and psychological issues that adopted adolescents
and their families experience. It offers critically needed insights into
effective therapeutic work with adopted adolescents and is enriched with
specific techniques, tools, and illustrative case examples. Mental health
professionals who with adopted adolescents and their families will find
it to be an essential resource to be read and consulted time and time
again.
Madelyn Freundlich, Director of Policy, Children’s
Rights
This book is of enormous clinical relevance and application to a particular
child population that has been too-long forgotten. The authors systematically
explore both the intrapsychic and social factors that complicate that
development pathway of adopted children. This book is a must-read for
novice and experienced clinicians.
Kirkland C. Vaughans, Ph.D., Editor of Journal of Infant, Child, and
Adolescent Psychotherapy
This book is a welcome addition to literature in the adoption field
and is a must-read. It is interesting and filled with case examples
and poetry that demonstrates the authors’ deep experience working
with teen-adopted persons. It is replete with practical suggestions of
therapeutic interventions.
Sharon Kaplan Roszia, M.S. Program Director of special needs adoptions
for the Kinship Center of southern California, adoptive parent, author
and social worker
The most powerful feature of Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted
Teens is the wealth of specific, concrete suggestions for dealing
with issues like rejection, depression, secrecy, and identity confusion.
The authors’ clinical insights are presented through multiple case
examples that illustrate clinical assessment, work with parents, individual
psychotherapy, and group therapy. This book will most helpful to mental
health professionals…It should also broaden the understanding
of adoptive parents and guide them in the selection of knowledgeable
therapists for their families.
William Bernet, M.D., Director of Forensic psychiatry, Vanderbilt Medical
Center
After years of working with adoptive families as a caseworker, I have
come to know that finding just the right mental health provider - one
who has adoption expertise and who is humble in the face of the challenges
adoptive families often face - can literally make or break the continuation
of the placement and the integrity of the family. I am delighted, therefore,
to find this book, Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens, which
carefully and clearly teaches the therapists and counselors what they
really need to know before jumping in - especially those who secede to
work with adolescent adoptees!
Barb Holtan, MA MSW, Executive Director, Adoption Exchange Association,
Project Director for the Collaboration to AdoptUSKids
.
