E-Newsletter -
August 2008
In this issue
Introducing W.I.S.E. Up!
For Children in Foster Care
AD/HD
and the Adoptive Family
by Julie Bulitt, LCSW-C
Back to School: Parents Can Take
the Lead in Creating a S.A.F.E., Adoption-Sensitive Schools
Five Back-to-School Tips
for Adoptive Parents
by Margie Persheid
Introducing W.I.S.E. Up! For
Children in Foster Care
The Center for Adoption Support is pleased to announce that its
most popular children's program and powerbook, W.I.S.E. Up! SM , which
has helped more than 10,000 adopted children, has been tailored
to meet the specific needs of children in foster care.
Thanks to generous funding from The Mead Foundation, W.I.S.E. Up!
For Children in Foster Care is in the final stages of production and
scheduled for delivery this October.
In the book's forward, Victoria Rowell, TV actress and New
York Times Best Selling author of The Women Who Raised Me writes, "Among
the most important skills foster parents, relative care givers,
social workers, teachers, school counselors and mentoring adults
can teach to children in foster care is how to manage their own feelings,
while simultaneously handling the questions, comments and curiosities
of others. W.I.S.E. Up! does all of this and more."
"W.I.S.E. Up provides foster children (and caring adults) a simple,
sensitive guideline," Rowell says. "By practicing
the choices, W, I, S, and E, children can learn
how to communicate in ways that are comfortable, assertive and
respectful to others – a skill that will benefit them in all facets of
their lives.
At any given time, there are approximately 500,000 U.S. children in
foster care. Of those, an estimated 130,000 are waiting for permanent,
loving homes. “Families and relative care givers support children who
are coping with a range of experiences, “including past abuse, neglect,
separation, loss and grief, ” said C.A.S.E. Executive Director Debbie
Riley M.S. “They need support helping vulnerable children cope with troubled
pasts while adjusting to new opportunities for family security and stability.”
All children in foster care need simple, effective tools to identify
and manage their feelings. So, too, do their foster families, social
workers, school counselors, teachers and other mentoring adults. C.A.S.E.
is proud to make W.I.S.E. Up! For Children in Foster Care available to
them.
To order a copy at the pre-published rate of $10.50 (regular price $15.00)
for yourself or to donate to a family or professional in your area, go
to the online bookstore or email Michelle Lovejoy at lovejoy@adoptionsupport.org by
Sept. 30 th . Expected delivery is late October.
Back to top
AD/HD
and the Adoptive Family
by Julie Bulitt, LCSW-C
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (AD/HD) is a neurobiological
condition in which children and adults have difficulty paying attention
and focusing on tasks. It may begin in early childhood and can continue
into adulthood.
The scientific community recognizes three subtypes of AD/HD: Inattention (difficulty
concentrating on one thing for an extended period of time), Hyperactivity
(can't sit still; always seems to be in motion) and Impulsivity (unable
to curb one's reactions, not thinking before acting).
An estimated 3% to 7% of all school aged children have AD/HD. Research
indicates, however, that children and teens who were adopted are
40%-80% more likely to acquire the disorder. Without treatment,
ADHD can cause problems at home, school, work, and with relationships. The
exact cause of AD/HD is unknown.
"It is important for parents to understand there are common misconceptions
about AD/HD," says Julie Bulitt, LCSW-C, founder of Live
Sane, LLC which provides AD/HD management and coaching services. “Some people think it doesn't really exist at
all. Others think it is result of bad parenting or laziness/stubbornness
on the part of the child. That is not the case at all. Parents need to
know that AD/HD is not a bad thing; in fact, with the education and the
right plan, it can be positive. AD/HD doesn't prevent children from learning
or reading, but it can present challenges.”
AD/HD Coaching offers structured, supportive, practical help for families
affected by AD/HD to develop daily life management skills, improve
time management, set reasonable goals and map out steps to reach them.
Adoptive parents have unique challenges and advantages when it comes
to dealing with AD/HD. Want to know more? Sign up for AD/HD and
the Adoptive Family with Julie Bulitt. This powerful workshop
will arm parents with proven strategies for managing AD/HD for children
and teens ages 5-17 and will inform you about C.A.S.E.'s new groups to
support adopted children/teens with AD/HD starting this fall.
Back to top
Back to School: Parents Can Take
the Lead in Creating a S.A.F.E., Adoption-Sensitive Schools
As the summer winds down and the new school year starts, teachers are
working on their strategies for creating positive classroom
experiences.
Adoptive parents can (and should) play an active role in helping their
child's teacher plan comfortable, positive and engaging activities
for everyone - particularly their adopted children.
Teachers are eager to enhance the learning environment; yet, many are
not aware that some assignments and discussions can cause adopted
children and teens discomfort. S.A.F.E. at School (Support for Adoptive
Families by Educators) is a manual designed especially for educators.
As parents, we know that the school climate plays a significant role in
how our children feel about themselves and their families. For adopted
children and teens, self-acceptance is stronger when friends and teachers view adoption
as a positive way to build families.
If you've been looking for a way to graciously expand your teacher's (and your
school's) understanding about the unique perspectives of adoptive families, S.A.F.E.
at School is the answer. You can save 25% off the price now through
September 30. Enter "ENEWS" in the coupon code.
Back to top
Five Back-to-School
Tips for Adoptive Parents
by Margie Persheid
Like all parents, we adoptive parents want our children to have the
best possible school experience. We work to find good schools,
ensure teachers are providing a quality education and monitor their friendships
to make certain they're healthy. We do all we can to make sure
our children's educational, social and emotional needs are met. Yet,
making sure that schools can meet their adoption-related needs is a different
challenge altogether.
Our children's educators may have had no formal training in adoption, and may
not fully understand adoption processes, relationships and emotional impacts.
Worse still, some teachers and classmates may only know what they see in the
media or in TV sitcoms. And although we would like to believe that TV
is catching up, I assure you it's not.
We'll never be able to control everything the world dishes out to our kids.
But we can try to anticipate what they may encounter in order to
smooth the path. School gives us an excellent opportunity to do that. Our children
will spend in the neighborhood of 17,000 hours of their young lives in school.
The time we spend educating our children's educators will be well worth the
effort.
There's no single right way to do this, but I can share five ideas taken
from my family's experience:
1. Know your child's school
Before our children ever set foot in their schools, we should visit to get
to know the environment. Are the administrators and teachers welcoming? Do
they show you around with pride? Are they willing to share test scores and
demographic information (particularly relevant to transracial adoptive families)?
Are they open to understanding the important role that being adopted has
in a child's life? Do you get good vibes?
2. Know your child's teachers
Make an appointment to visit your child's teachers before the school year begins,
even if it's only for a few minutes to introduce yourself. Having been a teacher,
myself, I know the power of parent visit and how helpful it is to talk one-on-one
about their child's specific needs. Don't wait for back-to-school night. Start
at the beginning of the year.
3. Be an educator
Because we can't presume to know a teacher's perspective on adoption, it's
okay to take the lead and assume the role of adoption educator. My approach
was to put a packet of adoption information together for each of my children's
base teachers and label it with the names of all their teachers and counselors
for the year. I included a note asking them to read the material, pass it on,
and to call me if they had any questions. This packet always came back to me
with thank-you's – a sure sign that I was helping to raise awareness. S.A.F.E.
at School is a great resource to include in such a packet.
4. Be vigilant
Nearly every adopted adult I know has told me that they did not tell their
adoptive parents about being teased or having to work on uncomfortable assignments
because they worried about hurting them. That's all the more reason for us
to ask. Knowing about difficult projects well before they're due allows us
to help our kids (and teachers) adjust projects or find alternatives. Acknowledging
incidents of teasing – even when our children insist on handling situations,
themselves – keeps the lines of communication open and helps our children get
through inevitable rough patches.
5. Be creative
Teachers work hard. A full day of teaching followed by an evening of grading
papers and planning lessons can be exhausting. When approaching teachers about
creating alternatives to emotionally-challenging assignments, (e.g. family
trees or histories), bring along ideas. If you can't think of any ideas, make
an appointment to meet to discuss your concerns and then brainstorm alternatives
together.
All of these really speak to being committed and involved. There's really no
way to predict exactly what adoption issues might or might not arise at school.
Being ready to actively address them is the best support we can give our children.
Margie Perscheid is the adoptive mother of two Korean
teens and co-founder of Korean Focus. You may contact Margie at mperscheid@koreanfocus.org .
