A non-profit adoptive family support center
Serving families, professionals and educators since 1998

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7 Core
Adoptee    |
  ADOPTIVE PARENT

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LOSS
Infertility equates with loss of self and immortality
Issues of entitlement lead to fear of loss of child and overprotection

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REJECTION
Feeling of being ostracized because of procreation difficulties
May make partner the scapegoat
May expel adopted child to avoid anticipated rejection

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GUILT / SHAME
Ashamed of infertility
May believe childlessness is a curse or punishment
Religious crisis

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GRIEF
Must grieve loss of “fantasy” child
Unresolved grief may block attachment to adopted child
May experience adopted child’s grief as rejection

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IDENTITY
Experiences a diminished sense of continuity of self
“Role Handicap”—I am a parent / I am not a parent

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INTIMACY & RELATIONSHIPS
Unresolved grief over losses may lead to intimacy and marital problems
May avoid closeness with adopted child to avoid loss

CONTROL / GAINS
Adoption experiences lead to “learned helplessness” where sense of mastery is linked to procreation
Lack of initiative

   

 


 

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